The mind is not clear
The mind always goes and goes and goes. It is not peaceful. It is ever moving, ever changing thinking. We work hard to move our thoughts from negative to positive, from what is beyond our control to what IS in our control and all of these steps and tools can be helpful to an extent. At the end of the day you still are with this mind in which thoughts, feelings, and sensations come and go without your consent, not born of willpower. You don’t know what your next thought is going to be. Just gotta ride the wave for what is to come.
Instead of working so hard at the contents of the mind, or maybe when you’ve gotten as far as you can with that type of work, at some point for the relief that you are truly looking for, you must see clearly that the mind is not clear. You must understand it’s nature and how it is and know that it isn’t you. If you are wrapped up in identity with this mind, that kinda does whatever the fuck it wants and are only happy when things are lined up for your approval, you are awaiting a fall over and over again.
When your mind is racing, notice that it is racing. You don’t have to know all the words. Allow it to come into a feeling. Put it into a visualization of the feelings and sensations of what you are experiencing. Do not go into the story. This isn’t story time. Your thoughts are not that important. And your belief that they are is why you attach to them and give them so much attention. Remove the ego. You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are not important. Continue to work to go beyond.
As you continue to learn to see your mind for what it truly is, you will experience more peace. Not because your mind is quiet, but because you are not in attachment with your mind. You are not in identity with it. When you see how still you were being, playing such a serious game, giving so much credence to random shit that comes and goes, you’ll laugh every time you notice you got caught in the trap. Relax into the freedom of know that your mind isn’t you and that it’s actually kinda entertaining to see all the silliness going on.